An introduction to Lazarus Howell, and his four layers.
I hate writing introductions. I hate talking about myself. I would most rather ignore myself, then to have a discussion about my own disposition. But there comes a time when a man must write about himself to discover himself and to uncover the truth to it all.
Because Lazarus is not what he seems. Every time you see Lazarus, he is putting on a facade, a mask, skin that is not his own! Lazarus is like an onion. He has many layers.
Today I will be discussing the four layers of Lazarus.
Layer 1: “Lazarus is a calm and collected”
The outer layer and shell of Lazarus. If Lazarus is chill with you, he is either introverted, or hiding something from you. ALWAYS ASSUME THE LATTER. Why is he so quiet? Why won’t he elaborate with details? What does he really see when he says “I see”? Maybe he’s trying to blend in? Maybe he’s afraid of what might come out. Maybe he’s trying to impress you with how sane he looks. He’ll never tell you why he’s being so quiet. He’s too busy being quiet.
Underneath the first layer is…
Layer 2: “Lazarus is performative”
This layer is where you’ll find Lazarus the most amusing. It’s the contrast of his blank exterior met with signs of actual life that catches you off guard in a charming and comedic way. This is especially true with his newly formed abilities, like his ability to say the N-word. You’ve never heard Lazarus say the N-word before, but now that you have, It’s the funniest thing you’ve heard from him. It makes Lazarus sound like a real one. But is he real? Until now, you haven’t seen Lazarus express any distinctive emotions. It’s as if he’s performing these emotions for an audience. Does he have to laugh that hard? Does he really want to fight everyone? Does he have an accent now? Is this code switching? Why is he pantomiming? What does he do at home without an audience? Does he just turn off? Is Lazarus an npc? Is Lazarus a sociopath? Is Lazarus a lizard person? Many people have attempted to identify Lazarus from a glance of his second Layer. They are always wrong.
I’m tempted to call the third layer “Lazarus is not like the other guys”. But we’’ll just call it
Layer 3: “Lazarus is an eccentric enigma”
This is the layer that you’ll find out that Lazarus is weird and is best consumed from a distant. Lazarus is like a puzzle that you can’t figure out yet because everything he does complicates the puzzle even further. Is he really unironically smoking an imaginary cigarette? And why does he wear scarves in borderline summer weather and ripped sleaves in mid winter weather? Why won’t he sleep? And why is his nipples out in the CTA station? Every observation you see that gives you a clue about Lazarus, you have seen an observation that opposes such lead. Lazarus is a walking contradiction. Experts had come to the conclusion, or perhaps gave up with any compelling conclusion, to believe that Lazarus is just a weird and funny guy. nothing more, nothing less. An anomaly that is pure and precious
This may seem like the core of Lazarus, but he is lying to you. He has a secret layer that he tries to keep under check, but sometimes he can’t.
Layer 4: “Lazarus is fucking crazy”
Have you ever seen Lazarus violently shake his hand in place before? That’s him trying to hold his shit together. Has he randomly shouted at a corner to “Shut up” before? That’s him slipping his grasp of his own presence. Have you ever heard him mutter “ I want to kill everyone right now”? That’s the demons in his head. Lazarus is insane, and he knows it and he knows that you suspect it. So he outwardly hides his fourth layer in the guise of his third layer of eccentricity. His actions are only unpredictable, so they can be unaccounted for. But this is not enough. As a safety precaution, Lazarus layers his third layer with a dramatic distraction which is his second layer. This way he can hide any deviations of suspicious character under the guise that he’s just “joking”, “it’s just an act”. It’s never an act. Finally to lock the final seal, he wraps the layers in the blank stern coat of layer one. You can’t get anything out of Lazarus, if he says nothing. It’s the perfect vault. Like building a wall to hide underneath the banana peel that is hiding the walnut shell that is hiding the seed of satan.
In conclusion, no matter how you see Lazarus, whether he is open about his feelings or literally asleep, he is always hiding something from you. No matter what. Lazarus is so good at hiding, Lazarus’ probably hiding from Lazarus. And Lazarus doesn’t have time to unpack Lazarus, because Lazarus’ too busy hiding Lazarus.
You can believe any of this information, or you can believe that I’m just a narcissist. Or what if I told you, Lazarus has a secret fifth layer?
Layer 5: “Lazarus is just an insecure guy”
For you see, Inside the wall that was built to hide the hollow banana that hides the shell of a walnut that hides the seed of satan is just an insecure guy. If you read in the Bible, Lucifer is just an insecure angel who puts on a god complex. More or less, Lucifer is like Lazarus. The egos we wear to pridefully hide and counteract our insecurities only furthers ourselves from God and humanity. I had not realize this, until a friend casually noted that “I’m hard to love”. The first layer replied in “I see”. The second layer used the “I see” as a set up for a joke. The third layer smoked an imaginary cigarette. The fourth layer subtly shook his hand in random violence. And the fifth layer cried a little.
These are the five layers of Lazarus. In the beginning I only said there were four layers. I lied.
I lied and bide and hide.
The layers of Lazarus is glued by my pride.
These layers have left me high and dried.
As my core has cried and cried and cried.
And as of today, my ego has died
I hope you got to learn something today, because I will never acknowledge this in person. Now excuse me, I have to rewatch The Notebook and see if I gained back the ability to cry.
